It’s Not About Willpower: The Truth About Weight, Food, and Healing
There’s this quiet belief in our world… that people who are overweight must be lazy, lack discipline, or don’t care enough to change. They’re silently judged — for letting themselves go, for not seeing what feels so “obvious” to everyone else.
But here’s the part most people miss…
If you’re carrying extra weight — you already know. You see it, you feel it, every single day. You’re reminded in the mirror, in your clothes, in the way people look at you. And most of the time, you already know all the information. You know about healthy eating, exercise, the habits you “should” have.
But knowing isn’t the problem. And willpower alone isn’t the answer.
I say this with so much compassion — because I’ve been there too.
I grew up in the world of competitive tennis where discipline was everything. Show up, push harder, stay consistent — I believed in that with my whole heart. But life has a way of humbling you… and it wasn’t until I found myself stuck in my own cycles with food, my body, and my emotions that I realized discipline alone wasn’t enough to heal.
You see, many of us spend years — sometimes decades — turning to food for comfort, for safety, for a moment of peace when life feels overwhelming. Our minds wire those patterns in so deeply that they start to feel automatic.
And on top of that, society’s judgment seeps in. You start judging yourself, becoming your own harshest critic. You tell yourself, “If only I had more willpower… if only I could be more strict, I’d finally be happy.”
But that cycle? It only keeps you stuck.
What I’ve learned — both through my own healing and now supporting others — is that breaking free doesn’t start with more control… it starts with compassion.
It starts with meeting yourself exactly where you are. With accepting the version of you standing here today — not someday down the road when you hit a certain weight or fit a certain size.
And here’s the most beautiful part… when you finally release the judgment, when you soften, when you create safety in your mind and body — the old patterns begin to unravel. The emotional hold food has over you loosens. Your body starts to let go — and yes, often the weight follows — but as a byproduct, not the purpose.
Because this journey isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering you were never broken to begin with.
That’s the space I hold now, through CBT and coaching. Helping you gently untangle the patterns, rewrite the story, and come back home to yourself — one small, compassionate step at a time.
You’re not alone in this. I’ve been there. And healing is possible.
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